If marriges are made in heaven, where the spinster days made?
Where are all those glorious care-free days, when I came back from office, threw my hand-bag on the bed, took the remote and laid down on the sofa, channel-surfing, when my mom gave me coffee…had dinner sitting in the sofa, without even cleaning my plate and slept past 12:00 after watching movies?
Gone are the weekends when we met in a friends house for vetti chat and after getting bored of the chat, decide to go for a movie and watch any dubakur movie in Udhayam theatre (only there u will get tickets in current booking) (Now, am not even in touch with most of my friends)
Gone are the days when I have to answer only to my mom who asks “En di late-u?”….”adhuva maa….late aayiduchu” and go to my room (Not possible now being in a joint family and having two kids waiting for me)
Gone are the days when all I have to do is to ask my mom to prepare my fav dish. Now only I have to prepare myself if I want to eat anything, which I mostly DON’T do……
Gone are the days when me and my friends could easily pass comments (within earshot ) on any couple who walks in the beach holding hand in hand….(Now Im the one on whom the comment is passed)
Gone are the new year eves when I was awake till 12’o clock, watching all the TV programs and calling everyone in the new year…. (Now I utilize all the time to sleep when my daughters are sleeping)
Its very weird calling the home where I lived for 23 years as “my parent’s home” and the house which I know for only 4.5 yrs as MY home.
Why…Why…why did I get married?
I dunno if all the happy married ladies get the same thought, but I get this almost everyday when my husband changes the channel when I am watching something interesting.
I’m not complaining about my hubby, or kids , but I feel that it would be better if I get a break from my responsibilities once in a while. get so immersed in our responsibilities that we dont even take time to talk to my friends or do the things which I would like to do.
4 yrs ago, if any one of my friends had failed to attend my marriage, I would have shouted at them like anything and put a hell lot of scene to them..., no matter how valid their reason may be....
"Neeyellam oru friend-a di...thoooooooo"
but now, I am not able to attend my friends wedding, because of my family ties , because my kid was not well, because my hubby had to attend to his friend's marriage that same evening....etc...etc...etc...
I need time for myself, to meet my friends, to be my old self again, once in a while.
I miss my parents’s terribly (even after 4.5 yrs of marriage) and I never miss a chance to go there whenever I get a long weekend.
I plan to give my daughters all their wish ( or rather all I miss now) while they are staying in “their parent’s home” itself.
But all these thoughts doesn’t stop me from missing my husband if I’m staying in my parents’ home even for a single day.
And when I come back to MY home after visiting my parents, I feel like “Home…Sweet home”